Michelle Marcus

In Pain

2012-01-29T20:10:00.001+08:00

Aunty Millie was right. It's not easy to get over it. And no, this picture above doesn't belong to me. I googled it.

I've wanting to stop hurting myself, mentally and physically but something stopped me. Its like there's a part of me controlling me, from the inside. I know this sounds really silly and stupid, but I just can't stop. Is this what we called love? I'm confused. I, need, help.

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Move on?

2012-01-27T19:58:00.003+08:00

It seems like, you've moved on. Youre starting to be flirty now, and yes here comes my jealousy. But whatever, your happiness is what I wished for :') Sometimes, I wonder, if you ever think of me. Sometimes, I think if I'm wasting my time thinking of you. But then again, you're not a waste of time. If you're reading this, always keep in mind that I'll always care about you. I'll care about you now, I'll care about you tomorrow. Even if you piss me off, even if you hurt me, even if you've walked out of my life, or even we'd stop talking to each other, I'D STILL CARE ABOUT YOU. I've always cared and always will.

Pretty much sums up how I feel

2012-01-27T19:46:00.000+08:00

I've been living with a shadow overhead
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
I've been lonely for so long
Trapped in the past, I just can't seem to move on

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
Just in case I ever need em again someday
I've been setting aside time
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
Oh oh oh

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine
I've been searching but I just don't see the signs
I know that it's out there
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere

I've been looking for someone to shed some light
Not somebody just to get me through the night

I could use some direction
And I'm open to your suggestions

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart again
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love
And if I open my heart to you
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do
And if you help me to start again
You know that I'll be there for you in the end
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

2012-01-27T14:58:00.000+08:00

MEMORIES. They never fade, do they? Everytime i think its okay, it just gets worse. I MISS YOU, but at the same time, im confused. I really do miss you whole lot.

Since the day he left, i cried every night before i sleep, wished that he would come back to me, missed the way we used to be, i even cried when i do my homework while listening to music. What I hope is, time really does heal wounds.

2011-12-14T02:33:00.000+08:00

Suddenly hit with a dire need to blog, and do forgive me for my lack of presence. Now that I'm fully back on social networks such as facebook and twitter, the desire to blog has decreased, immensely. I suppose I should also explain my sudden MIA.

I am currently in KL. Though I do have laptops with me, I haven't had the chance to update, and Ive been waiting for something to happen so I can actually update something...more interesting?

Heading to KK in few more days, currently hibernating at home, and relax before form five comes by and impales me to my study table. So, I've been here for a month now, been eating loads of foods and of course, enjoying time away from home but terribly missing my homies, especially my parents. It feels so empty inside of me.

Remember what I said about studying during the holidays? yeah hands down buddies, the word would be FAIL. I'm just overwhelmed with the laziness and there's no motivation, at all! Now I finally realised the importance of parents' presence, look at the positive side, the nags, the pressure, expectations they give, helps. It'll pushes you to strive and make an effort to reach a goal to "revenge", as in proving them that you have the ability to do so. I am now so infinitely blessed for my parents to give me the constant urge to find silver linings. Best believe that every outcome is to my advantage.

Anyways, did a little shopping, ON FOODS. went shopping for few times with the sisters, hoping to purchase new goods but unfortunately foods encircled me. On another note, I've been up till morning since I got here, doing absolutely nothing! Awake, turn on the TV and watch a few series of Gossip Girls. After that, go back to stalking people on facebook. Result? my face right now looks as if its going through a war, of zits.

I don't really have much to say now, although I know I have tonnes to talk about. I was going to rant on about being unhappy and pissed but thought against it.

Have a loverly week ahead to you folks.

4years Anniversary

2011-11-15T14:54:00.001+08:00

So, Terence and I have been going out for a while. If u didn't count the numerous time we had broken up then reconciled, we had dated for four years. So, today, on this bountiful 13th of November 2011, officially commenced our anniversary that marks four years of our lives that we have blessed with.

When a love exceeds anything you ever thought, even for a moment that you could feel, putting that into words seems both necessary and impossible at the same time. But I'll try anyway.

Dear Terence,

It is very hard to find words to describe how much your love means to me. My love for you grows with the passing days and years. I still believe God handpicked you for me. I know that when we do have disagreements, it’s probably Gods way of smoothing out our rough edges and balancing our individual extremes. Proverbs 27:17 says that “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." (Thank you Alicia for reminding me of this verse!)

I love you and thank you for your gift of love.

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1/11/11

2011-11-01T18:56:00.000+08:00

Exams are officially over for the year and school's out in two weeks time! My what-should-i-do list will be the next post as I've mentioned in the previous post.

Here comes November! I'd like to apologise to my dear blog for neglecting it, for I have been to busy catching up with my boyfriend, and too busy doing absolutely nothing!

Another thing, I had this feeling like "you were meant to achieve something bigger" "do something special".. I don't know if there's any of you feels the same way but ever since I was 15 years old, that was all that was constantly in my mind. But being the natural pessimist I was, I started self-hating, telling my self I'm hopeless or you cant do anything well and all. Then i started to believe em and dropped everything that i did. Big mistake I'd made. Oh well, gotta start believing in myself again, and be positive.

P/S. Im so lost in my shield. Alexithymia sucks, help!

:)

2011-10-29T23:55:00.000+08:00

Yes, we got back together. Cheers?

Shisha & Beer

2011-10-28T23:32:00.000+08:00

Headed to damai up2u right after sha's party. Theres nothing we can do so we decided to try out shisha.

Ernesha's 16th Birthday

2011-10-28T17:46:00.000+08:00

So, night kicked off at 7pm, with people making their way in. Some looking around, some were dancing on the dance floor, and others just casually chilling on the couches that were put out around the dance floor. The music was pumping and the vibe was up. Throughout the night, GOOD THINGS happened on me, just what I wished for. Everyone around me was having a good time, from the looks of them. I regretted for not dancing as hard as I was, probably it was because the people encircled me. Apparently there were only two lok-yukians which is fiona and I, and the rest are all saints and such. Awkwardness ruined it.

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY PRETTY!

Day 18

2011-10-27T11:55:00.000+08:00

Today is Thursday. Had biology. One word, dead.

But on the bright side, it's Friday tomorrow! TGIF! Ernesha's got a gig at Cempaka Square so I'll be spending part of my night over there with Fiona and maybe few friends as well? But I am afraid of seeing him. Tell me what to do!

P/S. This post is quite overdue. Haha I mean, I typed it out on that exact day but forgot to post it up. Must have slipped my mind.

Day 17

2011-10-26T23:45:00.001+08:00

This week marks the last week of October. Two more weeks and I'll be graced with the presence of seven-weeks holiday!

Initially intended to spend the day with biology and chemistry but failed miserably, as always.

P/S. I will not stop counting down until I have the old us back.

Short post errbody!
Have a great week ahead!

X

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Day 16

2011-10-25T11:22:00.000+08:00

Guys who give you the silent treatment... Hello I am no God, I can't read your mind, I don't know what's happening or what's wrong unless you tell me. You should not be afraid to demand or give some quality instructions if you want something done your way. I meant it. Funny how everyone wants the ability to read minds but no one wants their mind to be invaded.

asian chicks are notorious for being a troll underneath all the make up, they said.

AND HOLYCOW, YOU SEE THE DIFFERENCES HERE?

Day 15

2011-10-24T13:36:00.001+08:00

Today's gonna be very uneventful.

I didn't go to school. My friends and I actually planned it earlier because our laziness strikes at the same time. But, I fell sick. Flu, fever, had migraine this morning. Aiming to sleep the day away - much needed sleep I reckon. But I feel guilty for not studying as much as I should be.

Going to stay up tonight to get some uber studying done, even though exams are resuming on Thursday. Will be having dinner with relatives from mother's side as cousin Jonathan celebrating his belated birthday. And guess what, the girlfriend is coming along with us. Looking forward to the excitement of the day.

I miss you. Can't take away these years that we had, and it can undo the pain. Mountains tell me the world is not flat an the weight on my chest tells me we failed each other. We don't say much, there's a loss and a quiet anger but in case you forgot, I miss you.

X

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Day 14

2011-10-24T13:19:00.001+08:00

Sorry for the delayed update. I have not been inspired at all. Although I do have tonnes to talk about.

Now there's only left biology and chemistry papers. But I can't even buckle up all the effort to get it done. And so these stupid thoughts can be found in my head. Laziness always win.

I'm flunking my English. Recently I'm encircle by Chinese speaking friends. And now, I'm turning into one. This is, bad. Gotta reactivate my self-control.

Seriously I don't know what to say, normally my words flow with grace. Dont you just hate it when you have that sentences floating in your head but not being able to grab a hold onto it? My mind is now cluttered with nonsensical junk. Damn I feel like an emotional wreck. I am seriously considering cutting the emotion part of my brain out so I won't have any. Fuck my life.

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Day 12 & 13

2011-10-23T16:19:00.001+08:00

ze asqalani

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Day 13

2011-10-23T08:32:00.001+08:00

Spent my Saturday wasting my time away and watching The Cat.
Lesson learnt: NEVER GET FOOLED BY THE POSTERS. Both paranormal activity 3 and the cat's endings sucked, weren't what we expected. But I swear, this 'the cat' movie gives me goose bumps. And watched trespass with the parentals after, one thumb up.

Been going to centre point for two days in a row. Trust me, centre point is no longer the mall we wish to go to. It's packed with filipinos or in other word, pilaks. And now I'm down with flu.

Flashback, I was in a hurry to grow up. Now I realise that was the dumbest and most naive thing anyone could ever wished for, and i regret it. This isn't the shit I signed up for.

P/S. I seemed to eat and pee alot these days. What is wrong with my body systems?

Day 12

2011-10-23T00:57:00.001+08:00

I'll just summarise my day 12. Laziness wins.

• dinner at damai fook yuen with the company of Fiona, Foo Chih Maan and Kelvin. Xiao ming joined us after.
• contrived to check out the "Hidden" movie and when we reached, it turned out to be a malay horror movie. Thus, we watched Paranormal Activity 3. Frankly, I find the movie pretty trashy.
• salim after for supper. Bumped into winson after haven't seen him for weeks.
• Fiona slept at my place. I've inherited my dad's snore. Teach me how to get rid of snores, anyone?

P/S. These people entertained my Friday. TGIWF.

Day 12 (to be continue)

2011-10-22T01:18:00.001+08:00

Just came back from hanging out with the buddies.

I'll be updating on my day 12 tomorrow. I'm not only slothful in updating but am drained of energy as well. It's gonna be a long post.

P/S. Fiona's sleeping over at my place tonight!

Day 11

2011-10-20T17:50:00.001+08:00

Girls are taught alot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we watch, every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes, we're so focused on finding our own happy endings that we don't learn how to read signs. How to tell from the ones who want us, and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. Maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe. It's you, on your own, picking up the pieces, and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Or perhaps the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

Andrew was on cassie's hitz show again. Was planning to listen to it but sleep have been too generous a term. Hopefully they're repeating it tomorrow. Vksnnxzkrnfxks I skipped curriculum for this!

Be nice and good things will happen. And when bad things happen, still be nice, it will all turn out for the best eventually. - Jaeson Ma

2011-10-20T14:35:00.001+08:00

Day 10 (continue)

2011-10-20T14:31:00.001+08:00

Everyone was talking about an app called Voice Actions, so I gave it a try.

I told him/her my name's Michelle and he/she thought it's "Shadow"

He told me he's a male when he sounds like a female"

One word, ridiculous.

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Day 10

2011-10-19T22:32:00.001+08:00

I think the lack of sleep is making it easy for people to get on my nerves. I'm gonna put the blame on the wines my dad bought two days ago. Apparently I drink it whenever I feel like it or there's emotional disturbance.

And I'm running out of books to read.
Ohhhh booookk, my dear constant companion.. As if reciting this word over and over again is going to get me a book to read, magically. Getting annoyed that I can't find any since the school library is closed. Damn, never knew this is depressing.

Anyway since my life is pretty boring and I have nothing else to rant about I shall bombard this blog with quotes and photos and stuff, later.

Chaos. Add maths papers tomorrow, wish me luck.

P/S. I'll have you know that I miss you. And everytime that I see you, it hurts. But knowing you're alright and happy, that keeps me going.

Do not make permanent decisions for temporary emotions

2011-10-19T16:40:00.001+08:00

Day 9

2011-10-18T22:42:00.001+08:00

Today was somewhat productive.

Internet at home is being a total cunt at the moment, but for the first time ever I am not complaining. Proud.

Am now having a short break from revising history for hours. As I was studying history, I was reminiscing and actually visiting my history/past as well. If that even makes any sense to you. So, five more days to freedom. Couldn't wait any longer to get done with this darn excel and form four.

Supposed to be at kimberly's house warming party right now, but ive completely lost my appetite today. Also I couldn't bear with the awkwardness of seeing you.

It's a bit upsetting that schools curriculums are resuming tomorrow. Which we are forced to stay back after school. Worst, we'll be having add maths the next day.

Besides, I got the scoop from some people that andrew's shout out for ernesha was played on hitz fm today. Love birds for the day! Cheers for you two

Somehow, I am scared of getting attached to someone again. Because the last guy I gave my full love to, left. Sometimes I do not understand one fact. Why does loving someone so much has to hurt at the end?

P/S. I make no apologies for how I choose to repair what you broke.

2011-10-17T23:46:00.001+08:00

some photos we took in Sharon's shop.

jelly-like eye masks

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2011-10-17T22:42:00.001+08:00

HOW SO VERY ELOQUENTLY WRITTEN.

Day 8

2011-10-17T22:32:00.001+08:00

Had english for today. The questions for the essay parts were kinda easy peasy. But despite the heartbreaking-love-issues I'm facing, I've wasted my pen ink writing craps all over the paper. Hopefully my marks aren't too appalling.

Anyway, spent a good part of my day in Sharon's shop whilst waiting for my mother done shopping with an old friend.

Probably gonna go study in some Starbucks tomorrow after school. I can't seem to focus whenever I'm at home, ever. Distractions everywhere. Sometimes I wish to go back to the 90's. Fuck.

Having my heart broken into pieces, and the sad thing is, you don't even know. Everyday having to put on a mask and pretend that I'm fine, that I'm over everything, when I'm really no where close.

P/s."Too much expectations lead to disappointment."

X

2011-10-17T22:30:00.003+08:00

"Still in love with you" - Wang LeeHom & WongFu production.

Congrats wongfu production on working with leehom! awesome mv right there

2011-10-17T22:21:00.000+08:00

CLICK. I PROMISE YOU THERE'D BE NO REGRETS WHATSOEVER.

The iPhones band. Truly inspired.

P/S. MAX SCHNEIDER IS SO THE FRIGGIN HOT. Drummers ftw!

3 words, 8 letters. Say it, and I'm yours.

2011-10-16T22:07:00.001+08:00

Day 7 (continued)

2011-10-16T20:14:00.001+08:00

Baby cousin left his toy gun and so here comes my vanity. BANG.

Meet my niece! so fatty and chubby rawr!

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WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE. POLLUTING MY BLOG WITH ALL THESE SHITTY COMMENTS? GET A LIFE AND FUCK OFF

2011-10-16T14:26:00.001+08:00

Day 7

2011-10-16T11:18:00.001+08:00

"Just because the relationship has ended, that doesnt mean my love for you has died along with it."

It's almost been a week.

I'm taking my heart back and leaving the pieces on the floor. Despite the memories it seems like nothing I can do anymore. Dont close the book, it's just the chapter in the past. Sometimes the greatest thing to come out of all your hard work isn't what you get for it, but what you become for it. Yesterdays gone. There's nothing I can do to bring it back. I can only do something. Renew myself. Release that attachment. Theres no perfect endings, as always. Life is about making the right decision and moving on.

2011-10-16T02:02:00.001+08:00

Aren't they pretty cute?

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Day 6

2011-10-15T18:24:00.001+08:00

No girls should be treated like shit and pushed to the curb without a reason. No one's perfect, girls get mad, they get sad, and if they're jealous, that just shows you how much she wants you. All the good girls are the ones that get taken advantage of. When in reality, they should treated like a queen, but instead they settle for less, for one simple guy that hurts her feeling and yet she never loved him less.

Why is it so hard for you to apologise? Why is it so hard for you to give me signs, telling me that you love me and miss me? Why is it so hard for you to make a decision? These "why and why" questions are attacking my confidence level. I would be chuffed to bits if you could snap out of it.

Mom's finally home. Going to grandma's place (mom's side) in a bit to celebrate grandma's birthday.

X

Take note

2011-10-15T18:08:00.001+08:00

I blog to express, not to impress.

Day 5 (continued)

2011-10-15T17:43:00.001+08:00

New casing for my iphone! bought it at rm35.

2011-10-14T14:26:00.003+08:00

Congrats to my dearest wushu coach of her newly opened shop!
Manicure & pedicure, nails art, make ups, etc.
Its located at beverly hills, above easy way. Feel free to drop by!

I love the new blogger interface.

Much easier to upload pics and change themes.

NASI LEMAK MOVIE IS NOW ON YOUTUBE!
the best and funniest malaysian movie so far, do watch!
people who don't find it hilarious have no sense of humor, no offense.

Being stabbed in the back by someone doesn't have to be the end of the world, but it will force you to think about life and your relationships differently

2011-10-13T21:06:00.001+08:00

2011-10-13T19:51:00.001+08:00

Just a little add on..

Today, marks our 3 years 11 months anniversary. And also our fourth day after the break up. One more month till 4 years, but we can't even achieve the tenth month.

Day 4

2011-10-13T18:55:00.000+08:00

I guess today's updates will be sufficient for the whole week of next week. Because I'll be swamped with work and revision. So I vow not to procrastinate for a week at least, but we all know how that is going to turn up.

I can't wait for long holidays! Should make a list of things to do during the hols. After the darn excel.

"Relationship is like a wet cement. The longer you stand on it, the harder you'll get out. But if you manage to get out, you'll leave a mark."

Chinese songs always have songs that completely relate to my situation. It's frustrating. When you have so much to say but you can't say it. Watching the one you love change into someone you barely know anymore hurts. And its funny how those people claimed that they love you the most, but do not want to make a move to change things that can be change. As I tweeted before, most girls are okay with making a move, but they need some sort of sign that you're interested too. They need to know they aren't going to get shot down, no one likes to be rejected.

There are moments where I just feel like picking up my phone and texting him but within that split second, I put my phone down and occupy myself with other things. I just wish someone create a handbook for how to get over the people you really care about. But I definitely will not give in to this self-pity stuff and make him look down on me.

PS: get rid of negativity, it poisons you to no end of your being.

Xx.

Day 3 (continued)

2011-10-13T14:55:00.000+08:00

Green myvi(s) are everywhere and it can distracts me very well. Despite this, I almost got into a car accident, almost there.....

The plan didn't really go well. So the events of the day:
• to bank
• got a new number, it's quite depressing that I couldn't get the number I wished for.
• sped off to tuaran
• tuaran mee
• spent some quality time with daddykin; did a little gardening and prettified the backyards of the new house dad bought in tuaran.
• had some coconut puddings!

The best tuaran mee in tuaran town! Tai ming hwa restaurant, a-must-drop-by place.

Aren't they pretty? My dad taught me a bit about gardening.

Coconut puddings never fail.

Day 3

2011-10-13T02:03:00.000+08:00

Skipped school, again. I woke up this morning and the whole world seemed to spin. I'm one insomniac remember? Some pills would do, I hope.

I refuse to explain myself on the matters of deactivating Facebook and twitter. Blogspot shall act as a venting medium. People have comfort foods, well I have a comforting blog. One can only hold out for so long. But questions can be really tiresome sometimes.

Finals or ujian penggal 2 whatever you wish to call it are in one day now, which is tomorrow, so I'm going spend my weeks well with books.

Today's plans consist of:
• going to bank
• get a new phone number
• finish three chapters of physics
• revise bahasa malaysia

Truthfully, I just haven't gotten over him, because I'm not ready yet. It is as simple as that. The pain of the break up is still fresh, like it happened yesterday, and texts from him still brightens my day.

I never blamed him for the break-up. I never hated him, even if I did, it wouldn't be longer than ten minutes. It's funny how we said we still love each other but treat each other like enemies. Maybe, that's just your way, of dealing with the pain, forgetting everything between our rise and fall.

PS: the Chinese lyrics below is completely describing my feelings right now. Can u eat them?

I'm sorry

2011-10-13T01:00:00.000+08:00

听到我的电话响了一生就暂停
会不会是你我总怀疑
因为这原因心情不稳定
我们之间的问题是我不相信你
敏感又多心怕你变了心
因为爱你害怕失去你
爱的天气总是阴晴不定
爱的情绪也在欢笑中哭泣
Baby 想对你说生对不起用错了方式去爱你
因为我太在意, 如果没有你
我的世界只剩回忆每天只面对孤寂
以来不及在说我爱你
自从那天分手后停不住泪滴
想念一个人
能忘记自己让我爱你什么都愿意
爱的天气总是阴晴不定
爱的情绪也在欢笑中哭泣
如果能在遇见你　把你抱紧我要告诉你从此步分离决不放弃

Be a man

2011-10-12T15:23:00.000+08:00

Is it break-up season yet? Why is everybody's breaking up? This just gives me a reason to hate guys more than I actually do. I understand that girls are to blame as much as guys are in certain ways. But recently, I find that the bitchiness of guys have escalated by a shit load. Scary isn't it. You wanna break up, it's fine I'll leave. Break it off, but do you really have to add those snide comments or remarks just to make me feel worse about myself? No, wait hold on a sec. You do that only to make yourself feel better. My bad.

PS: if you break up and still do like her, be a man and figure out something. You said I always let you down before your major exams, so why didn't you fix all these at the first place? oh wait, now then you care. One last question, where were you for the past few days?

I want to wear your shirt to bed, watch scary movies with you, watch the sun tumbling down with you, play your favourite video game, play the staring game with you, kiss you in the rain, go on walks with you, laugh till I cant breathe, hold hands, talk about life. I'm hopelessly in love with you.

2011-10-12T14:53:00.000+08:00

Receiving a text from you is like rain finally poured down on a deserted desert.

2011-10-12T11:13:00.000+08:00

Was testing the polaroid that was given by him and a bunch of friends on my birthday. He was behind all these....

These two are addicted to the egg-cooking game that I recommended now

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Day 2

2011-10-12T10:47:00.000+08:00

For about two weeks, I was just really upset and out of focus cause it felt like the floor was pulled out from under me all of a sudden but these few days, with the company of aleeza and fiona, I've been feeling better. These two can really perk up my day.

So today, as I've said so in my previous post, yeah I skipped school. And guess what I got the nerve driving to school to pick up the two. Its the furthest place I drove to for the first time. Feeling proud and guilty at the same time.

And to summarise today:
Pick up the two from school,
went to city mall for lunch,
ended up aleeza had her lunch alone, met up with xiao ming at her shop,
sped off to lintas yoyo,
group study failed,
gossips and stalked people on social networks,
wanted to go back to city mall,
but the two begged me to bring them back to my house,
home, no current,
they're gone and then here I am.

A note in advance, I deactivated my facebook and twitter account, the only social-related websites I have now are, tumblr and this site right here. The main reason I did these is that seeing you every time whether on social networks or in person sets off something off in my head, an alarm bell of sorts, telling me to stay away. Tomorrow, my dad promised me to go to the digi centre in town to get a new number for myself.

The finals are up. I figured instead of wasting my time and tears, I'd concentrate on my studies and God. Time to whack some physic ass yaw!

Just realised I've been mentioning his name alot today and that my feelings for him weren't fading. As fast as I'd like them to be, mainly because I hang out with people in places that remind me of everything we used to be and used to do. Some of my passwords haven't changed yet either. But then he changed his Facebook password, this emphasised that he hates me now. Oh well...

I act like your absence doesn't bother me at all but it's killing me inside

2011-10-11T14:52:00.000+08:00

Day 1

2011-10-11T14:12:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning, and I told my self, "I am not going to be sad anymore. I do not want to be known as the girl who got dumped. I do not want to be weak. I don't understand why people bother falling in love anyway. At the end, all we get is the pain, heartache. The moment you start to care, is the moment you get hurt. It's nonsensical. Or maybe it is my head tells me it is. Maybe I'm just cold-hearted. Or I'm just sick of being given reasons why I should never fall for anyone too hard. Damn, this is making me lose my mind. My feelings are everywhere, and I'm feeling everything, at once.

Been having insomnia for the past few nights. Even last night at 1.30am I got to bed, even when I was so tired, I still couldn't sleep. Then when I eventually do, it's a shitty sleep. I would be tossing and turning still drifting in and out of it. Would wake up at 3:30 to 4am, suffocate a little, wake up in frustration and would have an absolutely horrible time trying to get myself back to sleep. I AM SO TIRED.

Having class tomorrow. Guess who's skipping again? ;) Yeah you see that smiley up there baby. I am so lazy to get up early for school. Sometimes, I don't see the point of going to school, because no matter what time I sleep at night, I am always sleepy after nine in the morning.

That's all for now.

Single.

2011-10-10T14:53:00.000+08:00

Ive decided to write this, in order to keep this as a memory to me, before the clock strikes twelve. Which means there's half an hour for me to cry my heart out here trolol.

So on 9th of October 2011, on a bountiful sunday, we are officially done with each other. Our endless argument ended. In three years and ten months time, we shared our love, happiness, experiences, pains and tears. Sometimes it's truly a wonder how fast time flies and how fast people change too. It saddens me that we were once so close, and now we no longer talk. Now I know, how important trust and communication is, and how important it is to to our status to maintain it all the time. I once took it for advantage and now I lost it. And I am truly scrambling for him to smile and trust me again.

So, the word "SINGLE", yeah you love that word, don't you? I mean, yeah I'm officially single, for now. But it doesn't mean I'm over him or anything. It's just that, things between us didn't work out. As much as it hurts, I gotta move on. Because waiting for him, is like waiting for rain in a desert. Oh well, if this is what God's plan for me...... But for now, I will just hang on to the good times, and forget the bad.

PS: was thinking if I should change my blog link, if you didnt notice yet, it is actually Michelle love Terence -> michloveence. But I'll keep this as memory then.

Chaos. School tomorrow. *yawn*

Hello.

2011-10-10T14:28:00.000+08:00

I guess this is me, starting fresh all over again.
And I've decided to write again.

Constructive criticism and comments are most welcome.

DEAR FUTURE,

2011-03-11T15:10:00.000+08:00

Dear future,

I hope you dont destroy my feelings and that you consider looking at things from every angle and perspective, just as i would do to you. please notice that i not only make one mistake, but i also learn from them and create wonderful things called lesson. remember that im in your hands, and if you drop me ill break if im ever not myself. remind me that im a truly beautiful person inside and out. youre the future, when will you come my way? i do not know, but what i do know is that
"SOMEDAY" WILL SOON BECOME TODAY.

love, michy :)

sister

2010-10-19T12:55:00.000+08:00

i never knew i would have you in my life. the first time i met you was the first day of school in lok yuk secondary school. then we had this orientation, and i saw a girl who really really look like you and i thought it was your twin sister. i was so stupid to go and asked you some stupid questions, and i know thats one of the reason you love me right? :) after ashley moved to other class, youre willing to keep me company so that i wont feel lonely in class. slowly and slowly, our friendship getting better and better each day.

i really really thank God for giving me such a nice friend. i love you for several reasons do you know that? :) you're a straight-to-the-point person. when we argue or whatever, you're the one who solve everything. even though it wasnt your fault you just apologize and anything. from that i can see you that you really really care about our friendship and you dont wanna break it. if it wasnt because of you we wouldnt be friends now :) and because of you i feel so appreciated. and i like your thinking. youre so mature to me even though you look tiny and childish. i thank you for being there all the time for me, helping me and stuff. you even tried to help me with him, you even dont want to see your friends in bad mood or sad and then you try to make us happy by saying all the lame jokes lol. and i appreciate that, really :)

everyday i pray, for you, for us, for everyone. and i hope this friendship will last forever.
I LOVE YOU VIONA GOH :D

PS: sorry for the lousy essay. i simply type it out without checking :]

where were she?

2010-07-22T13:41:00.000+08:00

so, the singing competition was uhm okay la. rachel and corinne were good, i mean really good :D thumbs up to my classmates too, i didnt know the guys could sing so well :D i regret for not joining the competition hahahah, next year la, MIGHT, IF im still here ><

had been staying in sutera pacific hotel last friday till saturday. i wont say it was fun cause theres no wifi in the hotel room! and we have to pay for it! sigh. not a five star hotel to me anymore :( grr. but i enjoy the bath tub cause theres hot wateeeeer :D my house's bath tub dont have la so sad.

havent been to youth for a month and cellgroup for two weeks, i missed E6 alot, and please dont tell me we're splitting soon :(

pmr! studying studying, but havent even touch my kh and sejarah! come on la. having trial now, yet im still blogging and facebooking, ngeh nobody care this trial one -.- only those who eat books, oopss sorry :S

Prefect Night! i dont know what to wear, where to get the mask, what to do with my hair :'( yesh we were forced to wear mask on that day :( dui.

15th!

2010-06-30T14:51:00.000+08:00

HAPPY SWEET 15TH BIRTHDAAAAY TO MICHELLE!

ahaahahaha, time flies so fast man, i thought i was just twelve last year :P hahaahah so yeah i'm fifteen already! i still remember the first time i went to eklektos youth, and i was just twelve, and everybody called me "the primary six girl" :D now im fifteen, fifteen babeh! hahaha i sang the fifteen by taylor swift the whole day today! :D and my friends were like " oh shuddup" :P hahaha.

and so, i had fun today. thanks to my friends, and you :D yeah you :D you know who im talking about one la :D hee pmr! ugh study! D:

tuition

2010-06-14T17:18:00.000+08:00

studying like shit now, finishing my form one science soon. one more chapter to go. arghh! i cant hang out with my friends this two weeks of holidays :( i gotta study! how i wish pmr is oveeer.

attended future leaders training last week, and it was really good.
"EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED"

oh and guess what, im tuitioning my cousins maths and malay. four kids! and yes i know! maths! i know maths is my weakest subject but i still got A for my maths in upsr :) heh just wish me luck! they're driving me nuts, in a cute way, hahaha.

i've improved my driving! :D oh dont worry, my parents know about it, they're the one who teach me how to drive first, especially daddykin :D hahaha so i drove a few times, kembara and myvi :P

at least now i have a friend at home to study with. a cousin of mine, from mum's side. she err she lost her mother two weeks ago, and the value that i got from her is always stay strong. she dont feel sad or emo when other people ask her about her mother, like other people do. but there was a time when she suddenly said this when i was studying : "mich, you know what, i still have the feeling my mums still alive ya' know, its like shes having a looooooooong holiday right now, sometimes i thought that she'll come back and visit us" after she said this, i was speechless, and tears drop on my book. aikz well the parents divorced five years ago, but she's very very strong :O she took good care of her siblings, shes doing great in her studies, and she's a very independent woman, i shall not say her a girl, because "woman" suits her more. teehee.
AWW IM SO PROUD OF YOU COUSIE :)

recently in love with a korean movie "Boys Over Flowers". i know im out-dated but still, i heart this movie maan. blame my aunt for this, she shouldnt tell me the story and borrowed me her dvds, arghhhhh :D

2010-05-27T10:28:00.000+08:00

"如果我不主动理你，你是不是准备一辈子也不主动理我" - Leong Sin Yee

如果有一天，我不再放下所有的骄傲去打扰你；

如果有一天，你再也看不到我唯独对你永远隐身可见的头像

再一次跳动，你会不会有那么一刻感到忧伤？

女孩子跟男生不一样的。男生主动一点，别人会说他勇敢追求自己的爱情，可是女生不同。她会怕。

怕如果自己不管不顾地打扰你，会惹得你不高兴；会怕跟你的对话框里只有自己说的话安静地忧伤；会怕自己的主动换来你的不珍惜。

所以男生，你们不要以为，她不主动理你便是不在乎你。

相反，也许是太在乎你，她才会有那么多的怕。

要记得，就算她没有主动理你，你也不可以那么小心眼得跟她生气，同样不理她。

两个人在一起，只要有一个人是主动的，都会带动另一个人的。

赞同的话,请tag你身边的6位同性朋友和六位异性朋友.让身边的朋友都明白这道理.

PS: thank you leong sin yee :) this is so true.
PSS: rence, read this if you can. if you cant, ask someone to translate for you! please :/

why am i so scared

2010-05-16T09:57:00.000+08:00

had school today, on the day we suppose to rest or study or play or whatever :( i dont feel well since morning, and i slept the whole day in class today, thanks to teacher olivia for letting me sleep in her class.

i just cant stand of your attitude bah nowadays. do you know that? ever since you get what you want, you changed. you started to complain this and that eveyday. and, what am i to you? tell me the truth. i was expecting you to come and look for me instead of me finding you always, like what other guys do to their girlfriend everyday bah. i was resting in my class during recess today, and wishing that you'll show up and keep me company, but you didnt :( i was crying so hard that nobody knows, because i dont want them to worry or sampat or anything. sometimes, friends understand me more than you :(

PS: sorry bah if my english is not good as yours, just shuddup la bah. ( to people )

jemeh's

2010-05-13T05:25:00.000+08:00

" Costly " - Jemeh

the person you love should be a person who keeps you going; not pull you down, to be able to study; not stop your responsibilities. he/she should not be the person who only can make you dream dreams and hope on fictional stories.

this works both genders okay. no discrimination, haha. but, dont you agree? :)

that person should not stop you from doing what is right and put their on greedy-self for their own good. that person should not make you fantasize what isnt real, only to last for that period of time. if you have believed in them fully then you ngong lo. :P

but we are humans anyway right? thats why we need failures to have success. LEARN from it! dont be stupid and repeat your dirty footsteps. it wont be easy to wash it off after a while, you know?

that person should be your motivation to do things, whether or not in work, studies, chores or decision-making. that person is NOT your solution but helps you to look for solution. that person should also be a person who is able to help you face your fears and build your abilities up.

most of all, that person should love you for who you are because he/she loves you for who you are and what you do at the first place. =3

not in mood

2010-05-08T06:03:00.000+08:00

i sucked, useless, ugly, fat, stupid.

*sigh* i know, emo :/ dont ask why.
having exam, yesh and im doing badly, guess im gonna fail. :'( sometimes i feel like giving up on studies, the feel like dont wanna study anymore bah, so stress you know :'( parents expecting me to get straight As and telling me (sort of yelling) that if i dont get good result i'll let them down and sowhatever. ugh.

i promised my self not to waste money on school's canteen's food anymore, yes i wanna save it! gonna put the money into my bank :) i dont wanna use my dad's money anymore to buy things that i want or need (even though the money im saving were my dad's :p) i listed down everything i need, or want. so, we'll start the plan next monday! or tomorrow since we're having school tomorrow, on saturday! :( oh, and i meant me, my self :p heh. wish me luck.

reblog 2

2010-04-28T11:06:00.000+08:00

"I Don't Hate You, Boy" - Steffi

Sometimes I'm just uncomfortable when people start getting too close and I back up and try to talk to them less. I realize that I do this surprisingly often and I'm not sure how or if i want to change that about me.

Conversation between alexandra and bella :)

haha. my boyfriend doesn’t mind. he knows. he knows how i close i am with boys but he trusts me to stay faithful. i just don’t like people spreading rumours like that :/

well.. rumours are inevitable. you just have to take it in the face, and just walk away. :)

"I Love You" - Sam Ku

it's easy to say those words 'i love you' to someone. we say it all the time. we say it everyday. to our family members, to our friends, to our bf/gf. but when something goes wrong and conflicts occur, we don't say 'i love you' anymore. we say 'i hate you'.

1 Corinthians 13 : 4-8 = Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...

note that everytime we say 'i love you' to someone, we're saying all of it in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. we are promising the other person that we'll be patient, that we'll be kind etc.

so don't go round saying to everyone 'i love you' without meaning what 1 Corinthians 13 said.

and don't let this post hinder any of you from saying 'i love you' to people, however, mean what you say when you say 'i love you'. and when conflicts occur, don't 'forget' about your 'i love you's.

=) come, let us strive to love our neighbours.

reblog

2010-04-28T10:20:00.000+08:00

i learnt alot of stuff today, thanks to my cell leader! :)

i was reading peoples' blog and some of the post i find it interesting and also, might be true for us or whatever. since im so lazy to post anything why dont i just copy and paste? not mean to copycat la, just sigh just read la okaaaay? :) P/S: this is not tumblr but i would like to reblog! :D

"So 0ver-rated, the reason." - Alexandra Tham

how do girls commit themselves to a single soldier and not want to enter the battlefield of love? i’m afraid of commitment. there its out, the bubble has been popped. the reason why i broke up with kenneth is right here for everyone to see. i dont have ‘dating trauma’. i dont think that there is such a thing.

i wouldn’t like it if my boyfriend called me every morning just to ask abut the day before. i wouldnt get mad if he didnt tell me i love you. i would know if he does, by the way he does things. kisses dont prove anthing, not to me i suppose. hugs yeah. i’ll take them anytime any day.

i want to have the will of speaking to other guys when i want and not have my boyfriend make huge fuss out of it. i’d want him to know that its okay to speak to other girls, and laugh with them but, it isnt okay to het all ‘touchy-feely’. i want him to tell me that i’m fat if i really am, and not say “no, alex you didnt put on any weight”, when i know weighing scales cant go wrong.

i dont like lovey dovey things. but hey, i’d love chocolate on valentines. also, i would want him to understand that if i dont reply his text in 5 minutes it doesnt mean that im pissed, its just cause nature called. i wouldnt want him to be clingy and frequently ask me what i’m doing. i want him to have emotions, and not put on a poker face, even when hes pissed. i want him to know that i have emotions too, cause i’m only human. i wouldnt like it if he asked if i’m fine, even when i obviously am not.

i cant stand the fact of how a boy can be such a great friend and such a sucky boyfriend. i hate the way they get all quiet when they speak to you when you guys are together. i’d like it when they treat you just the way they did when you were friends. all the pushing around, the name calling, the swearing, the jokes and the laughter.

also, if you like a girl just tell her, please. cause she might like you to.

this is my take on what relationships should be like, but if anyone’s opinion differs. YOUR GREAT TOO :) and hey, please reblog :) :)

xoxo

show off

2010-04-22T06:56:00.000+08:00

my class monitor was absent today, ugh i was super busy man. aikz, you know why. as assistant monitor, i have to take care of the class. besides i almost fall asleep during chinese, i know teacher saw that and my friends were all laughing at me, hahaha. after school, as usual, i wait for my daddy. and weena showed up, grrrr. one word, show off! ;D ;D hahaha. sent weena to sutera harbour after for, err im not sure, the daily news people called her for something. hmmm wonder whats their plan hmm.

PS: gonna take a nap first :D see ya.

weena

2010-04-17T14:29:00.000+08:00

had a conflict with my very own best friend rence since last week :'( i dunno i dunno i freaking dunno la now, freak me :'( ughh.

so, my sister weena came back, only for one week. was expecting her to buy me tshirts from kl, but she bought me a bag and panties! D; yeah man, panties, but cute and nice panties, hahaha, plus the panties are branded one. how come panties also so branded one? nobody gonna look at it also, cause we wear it in our pants ma right, laugh out loud oh.

and, yay! another laptop in in my house now, dont need to argue with my dad for one week! :D but but, exams soon. next next week. and i just started my sejarah form one chapter one till two. besides haven done my kh project also :'(

hahaha yeah man, superwoman undies! i like this one. theres three more, dont wanna show ngeh ;p topshop, expensive gila :O

awww, we love our handsome daddy so muchh :)

kem kepimpinan pengawas

2010-04-11T09:30:00.000+08:00

hooray! i'm finally home from borneo paradise which is *thumbs down* but from kem kepimpinan pengawaaaaaaaas! *thumbs up* so, through this camp, i get to know many friends. who say prefects are not sporting? who says prefects cant be funny and crazy around? well i used to say that but, guess i was wrong :P woots. so i shared a tent with alicia and sherah and kwan. thats right, four people in a tent, aw dont be silly la, sherah's one very big :O

so, i was in group seven, with choon ying, jia yen, charissa, grace, victor, kwan, vivian, azrie and michelle xD pity azrie, i think we abandoned him oh :'( cause he was the only one who dont understand chinese in our group, but we still speak chinese even when we're discussing :'(. and so, we had malam kebudayaan last night, we have to perform anything we want like drama or dance based on 1Malaysia theme. so we performed a drama. i cant believe i sang "i want nobody nobody but you" in front of people! cam mengurat laki ja dui. hahahaha. afterall we got 15 marks, the highest was 20, elvy's group :)

PS: Group ten's granny gaga was super hooooooooot :D

climbed the hill the next day, of course it was tiring, seven km if im not mistaken. gila, we brought our babies (an egg and a water balloon, things that we have to care care of, camp's rules ughh ) with us, even when we were climbing the hill. the view from the hill very very nice, i shall go there for photoshooting next time when i get my dslr :P ngeheh. i cant believe i wore my track jacket the whole way :O good job michelle.

activities we did this morning were fun too. firstly, we have to swim over. phew, thank God my swimming skills belum hilang, skills konon ;p yang tidak pandai tu, pa mau buat, gunalah pelampung hehehe. like teacher kenneth and cikgu alex, macam budak kecil baru blajar ni, cuteeeeee teehee. fyi, teacher said our group was the fastest ;p hooray! then one of the activities that i find interesting was sampan. we have to row the boat, the wood so heavy how to rooooll? D; hahaha.

im still thinking whether i should be a prefect or not? honestly, i dont care what my friends say about me anymore. if they dont support me for being a prefect, thats their problem la. thats not what i call best or good friends. kan kan? say yes :P

bakat interact is tmr :) who else are going? i am i am! with my best friend rence :) gonna support my school. the belly dancers. teehee. see ya!

fyi, this is one of the video announcements of my eklektos youth. hahaha oh my, i look freakishly weird here -.-

samuel chua's farewell

2010-04-03T07:23:00.000+08:00

just came back from E6's sleepover in kyrugma, were having samuel chua zhia en's farewell! aww yes, he's leaving soon, to australia, after samuel would be samson and apple. apple will be leaving on july, so should i use this chance to spend more time with her though we're not that close? hmm. samson said he's leaving soon, but he dont wanna tell anyone about it, he said he'll text us after he left. arghh :( i wanna leave this place too.

so yeah, had dinner with them in recipe house damai, my food was okaaaay la. should order unagi or or salmon *drools* went to watch basketball competition after, our main reason was to watch samuel play, but he only came out in the last match. zhuo dao pigu kai hua la ugh.

i have not been playing basketball for years. the last time i played was primary six and played for inter-school competition. flashback, i didnt know i was that good. well, not saying that im really really good at it, im just ok ok la. im still one of the noobies! hahaha. so, a friend of mine asked me whether i wanna play again and join school's team, i of course ignored her teehee sorry. if i wanna play, may be not here. could be somewhere else that far far away from here hahaha.

slept at two am and woke up at six thirty! its Good Fridaaaay! Amen!
i wore my sort-of-aladdin-pants to church :P i know it looks weird but after a while you'll think its cute, hahahaha like samuel! first he said it was weird but after that he said this "uihh very fon oh your pants, cute leaaa" haha paiseh paiseh. watched a movie with them, crap i forgot the title, hmm something titans there. the story almost the same as percy jackson! with zues, hades, poseidon, and medusa in it! i rather watch it's complicated than that -.-

PS: somebody back together after broke up for almost more than four months! :D yay!

seekers day camp

2010-03-21T06:34:00.000+08:00

SEEKERS DAY CAMP WAS AWESOMEEEE :D

PS: im craving for kon lao pan mien right now, hmm..

molgirl

2010-03-14T04:32:00.000+08:00

in memories

remember i told you that i bought a new pencil case? thats right im not using my molgirl pencil case anymore. but im still gonna keep it ba. hahaha. my good friend ashley gave it to me as a christmas present three years ago. and i used it until now oh, three years ba, three years! ngeh i broke my own record man.

PS: ashley is moving to australiaa, with shasha and sean, uncle and aunty :( goodbye my friend. love you :(

exams

2010-03-14T03:37:00.000+08:00

exaaaaams ended yesterday. gawsh so happy.

so yeah, we know our marks for geography edi. and teacher ever said that whoever didnt get A for their geography teacher will make them pull their ears in front of friends. :O :O. i was so scareeeed when teacher announced my name. and yeah, I DONT NEED TO PULL MY EARS IN FRONT OF FRIENDS ANYMORE. hahahahaha. that means i got an A for it. hehehehe. i know its only ujian, but i tell you la, last year my class nobody get A for geography even ujian eh, i guess. fuiyooo. :D

i cant wait for my sejarah. D; D; i expected A for sejarah. but see how la :S
oh and, cellgroup was fuuuuun last night *thumbs up*

oh and, i saw edreaaa's name in the newspaper just now. so gilaaaa smart la you :O :O
anyway, congrats :)

sport car

2010-03-12T11:13:00.000+08:00

crap. brother-in-law, ah well future, got his new toy D; im jealous.
daaddyyy, i wanna go back to kllllllll D;

a day with him

2010-03-06T15:01:00.000+08:00

gagagagagagagagagag, i loveee going out with himmm :D :D :D
a day with him, was, awww you know teehee. imagine when he's driving and you're sitting beside him :O :O hahaha this was my first time okaaaay? so shuddup *wink*

e x a m s n e x t w e e k. i t s k i l l i n g m e.
my friends were like "oik since when you eat books oh?" "oik since when you become a nerd oh? with your glasses on really look like a nerd, but cute" "uinahh meow meow study gong" so annoying la dont you think? i study cause exams are up, any problem? leave me alone by using cello tape or glue kasi diam your mouth :P

why are my friends acting like stupid and childish anyway? are they living in neverland? the place where peterpan and the gang lives? at least peterpan and the gang are smart, smarter than my friends. michelle, pray for them would you? :)

domokun domokun domokun. currently in love with domokun. bought a small domokun to hang on my phone *granteeed* bought domokun pencilbox which is so cute *granteeeeed* now am wishing for a domokun bag and the patungs :)

PS: am thinking how to earn money, hmmm.
PSS: im getting fatter. seriously. im very the meaty :( healthy diet and exercise would do, gagagaga.

my husband

2010-03-04T06:16:00.000+08:00

someone got his own license alreaaady. congrats ah wong:D
be my driver ehh, teehee. ada gaji punya lo :D :D

parents

2010-03-03T06:01:00.000+08:00

mum dad me

*talk about chinese songs*
eh i can sing that tian mi mi song, aw and i still remember! :D
so old already that song
eh, that song was very popular when i was in uni lea. i sing arr. ehem ehem, tian mi mi, ni tian de tian mi mi~
dui, ni xiao de tian mi mi ba, not ni tian de tian mi mi -.-
huh? ya ka? dont care la *continue sing his tian mi mi*
oik suda la, like katak only. *on the radio*
hahahahahaha.

sad

2010-02-25T14:21:00.000+08:00

yay! exam is next next week :D kena postpone suda! still got time to study, and err play? no la. my swwetheart viona goh is going to penang tomorrow man, i'll be alone for few days. shiat :(

PS: laaazzzyyyyyy :P

why do we have people to have crush on us and try to break us up? why? im not saying that im pretty so many guys are crazy on me. i hate those people who think their good or handsome, so what if you really are. doesnt mean i'll like you back D; so stop bothering my life la. i already got my own beloved husband (future) so step aside. i dont need you. i only need him and Him. i can move on without you man.

PS: suckest. brothers. ever.

stupido

2010-02-23T06:43:00.000+08:00

im very very down now :( i wish i can be bella from the twilight new moon. i wanna do something stupid to let him know that i really really love him :( am not gonna eat tomorrow until i die. i know im stupid. stupido would be my new nickname, thank you. sigh.

E66666666

2010-02-19T15:05:00.000+08:00

YAY! MY BELOVED CELL GROUP E6 WILL BE HAVING OUR FIRST CELL OUTING TOMORROW, i guess? oh well. im so so so excited about it :P shoobiidooowaawaaa

an outing finally!

2010-02-19T11:27:00.000+08:00

finaallyyyy :D :D i came out from kolombong area already. have been stucked there for two days! two daaaays! D; went out with isaac and the girl fiona yong :) clifern and rence. flavia and the boy and crystal and shinie were there.

So, watched wolfman, ughh okay honestly i dislike this movie, the blooooood D; the scary wolf, thank God i didnt vomit la please. so yeah, dont watch! hahaha. poor fionaa yong, wanted to talk to you and comfort you but i just dont dare. because you're too pretty :P ngeheh i know this kind of personal but still, cheer up alright? love you babe, even though we're not that close YET :D :D

I MET KU JIA DAAAAOOOOOO! the birthday boy :P he's leaving soon. that truly is sad man :( and met cyrus and a girl, woots :O okaaay.

transform

2010-02-18T12:43:00.000+08:00

awww. finally :) changed my blog layout. ain't it pretty? teehee, i think its look fine. as usual, i use navigation :P haa, oh well guess its all good babeh. but it took me three hours to find this layout D; i didnt wanted to use this cause i thought there would be a nicer one. i kept on searching and searching, i found none that suits me. i was like "ahh biarla use just now that one only la" hahaha.

so, i ditched cyrus. we planned to catch a movie tonight, but i ditched him. something happened :( am really sorry.

PS: am figuring out how to make a facebook bookmark and put it into my blooooog :P annoying.

shut up

2010-02-18T06:54:00.000+08:00

phft. i have nothing to do on this boring chinese new year holiday. sometimes going to school is good :( planned to study at home, but mission failed most of the time. phft. i think i'll call and follow my aunt to her friends' open houses tomorrow. bored bored bored!

my blog gonna die soon. i dont think anyone would visits here anymore. maybe there would be some people who always visits here, but you guys didnt leave your footprints :( oh come on, if you visit here, please leave your footprints would you? and guess im going to change the blogskin soon, its so olddd?

and guess what, i was really really bored until i took some salt and put it on my teeth and rubbed it. and it taste nice :) i hate hitz.fm and facebook nowadays because the songs keep on repeating and facebook does not have anything nice to see anymore :(

besides, something keep bothering me everyday! i can hear fireworks every night in my neighbour hood when im trying to sleep! you know fireworks? not those small small fireworks, hmm like those bomb. and my grandma said this whenever theres fireworks and she sounds funny, "dui, jatuhlah bumbung rumah kita ni, boom sini boom sana, nanti sia boom balik diorang macam tu superman" :D i hate fireworks already, except for those nice nice fireworks usually happens on new year etc. somehow its getting louder and louder year by year D;

to sarah: the last oneee

2010-02-18T06:18:00.000+08:00

alaaaa, im not pure chinese also! ben dan sarah XD
waaa, what you mean cant tahan me arr? poke your butt de oh :P
kla kla, we'll stop here then. my post banyak edi XP bye byeeee. see you on next monday :)

to sarah: shi yiiiii

2010-02-17T02:44:00.000+08:00

kurang asaaam kau, pro konon xD jia jia de. hahahahaha
ok ba, sorry ba :P ur not ham poo. you are more ham de ham po xD hahahaha
angpau your head :P you give me first xD

PS: ameh cat only eat drink play sleep de xP teeheee

gong xi fa chai

2010-02-15T11:37:00.000+08:00

A BLESSED CHINESE NEW YEAR TO THE CINA-BANGS xD
AND A HAPPY VALENTINES DAY PEEPS :D

Remember, valentines day not only about boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, but its also about sharing God's love to the lost sheep out there :)

PS: and for those who are married, ngeheh ANG PAU NA LAI xD lai lai lai

to sarah; kesepolooohhh

2010-02-15T11:21:00.000+08:00

kurang asam kau sarah xD how you know him and i ehem edi? xP hahahaha
*people dont misunderstand please hahahaha
you baru la hampooooo xD haaaam pooooo haaaam poooooo. aisehh! really ba? woohoo oh yeah, im smaaaaaaart du :P baaanggaaaa! baanggaaaa!

PS: walao, where got like horse oh -.- *ke-de-kut ke-de-kut* :P

worst valentines day ever

2010-02-14T11:07:00.000+08:00

A wonderful day turned out to be a disaster D;
blame my phone! blame my messages! blame my friends! blame myself!

to sarah: kesembilaaaan

2010-02-13T15:44:00.000+08:00

sot baru good ma xD baru sweeeeeeet, aisehh xD
aiyorr ehem la, hold hands ba! ehem pun tak tau, or you thought that ehem oh? xD HAM PO xD hahahaha

huh? saturday? 6/2/10? what day oh? hmm... OH! you-accept-augustine day? xD hahaha

PS: aisehh, yala yala ppl pro bah. i know michelle marcus very very slow de ;P ham po faster xD haaaaaaaaam pooooooooooooo!

attacked

2010-02-12T06:56:00.000+08:00

you always say i dont want you anymore this and that, of course the satan take me away from you la :( haiz. jaga your mouth ba.

final day

2010-02-12T06:47:00.000+08:00

Final today, and it sucked.

i lose in 100m today, crap! :( i regretted i didnt really warm up before that, i cant fully speed if i didnt warm up. shit :( great job michelle, even though you didnt win. try again next year :)

i hate the sun todaaay D; it is very very very very the hot, even until now its still hot D; oh no global waaaaarming! i almost get sun burn this, thank God i brought extra pants and extra kokum shirt with me, ngeheheh :P

PS: am laaaazy!
PSS: eeehhh gilaaaa, baju kokum saya sekarang bau hangus ni D; punya main gileeee

to sarah: ketujuuuuuuh

2010-02-12T06:45:00.000+08:00

walao, where got sot oh. him and i very sweeeeeeeet du, no sot xD hahahahaha
good your head xD hahaha, that ehem lo. xD hahaha
ehem ehem ehem ehem ehem ehem ehem xD!

oh oh oh i know, yesterday was augustine and saraaaah first day paktohhhh ;P weeeeee teehee.

PS: punya cepat kau reply :O gilaaa sarah hahahaha

to sarah: keenaaaaam

2010-02-12T06:11:00.000+08:00

HAHAHAH sot couple XP married in the bukit padang hospital. hahahah bad me xD
aisehh man, by natural waa :P edi *ehem* arr? :PPPP
what kind of yesterday was? apa you mean? :O teeheehee

to sarah: kelimaaaaa

2010-02-11T08:49:00.000+08:00

maybe gua. ;P i saw gabin play with christy then christy *you know what she'll do la* hahaha.
nothing special bout them also. teehee, but i know got something special on you with *ehem ehem* la ;P naughty girl didnt tell me XP

tagged by augustine's laopo XP

2010-02-11T08:41:00.000+08:00

幸福熱氣球
一，被点者请在自己的网志上打上答案
二，请传给另10人
三，传阅人请在这10位被点的人的留言板上通知他：被点名了!
四，这当中的10位不得拒绝
五，被点者请注明被谁点了在哪里接到再传给下10位
六，这些被点名者不可回点，愿望会实现和得到幸福

坐上幸福热气球，开始！

幸福热气球：第1阶段
1. 绰号: Meow
2. 星座：Crabby (in chinese XP)
3. 生日：29.06.1995
4. 兴趣：hanging out with my friends :)
5. 血型：O
6. 最宝贵的东西：my relationship with God :)
7. 最讨厌的东西：when your friends betray you :(

幸福热气球：第2阶段
1. 有喜欢的人吗：you know i know ;)
2. 有交往吗：kau tau saya tau
3. 幸福吗：yeshhhh :)
4. 他/她很爱你吗：hopefully yeshhh :)
5. 如果你有勇气，最想做什么：go for the modelling agency :)

幸福热气球：第3阶段
1. 你被谁点：augustine de laopo : SARAH FOO
2. 他/她是你的谁: a good friend of mine :)
3. 他/她的个性是：a straight-to-the-point person
4. 他/她长得怎样：like sarah lo. who else? augustine? XD
5. 跟他/她认识多久：since form one
6. 你想跟他/她说什么：yieeeeer, your hair is longer than mineeeeee :(
7. 如果他/她变成你的情人：i'll be super duper happy XP

幸福热气球：第4阶段
1. 最爱的音乐：christian songs
2. 最爱的季节：winteeeeer (:
4. 最爱的颜色：pinky and black
5. 最想去的国家：Englaaaaaand.
6. 最爱的水果：dragon fruit *rawr*
7. 最爱的饮料： cincau susu XP
8. 最爱的人：you know la ;P

幸福热气球：第5阶段
1. 你很爱哭吗：used to be.
2. 你很爱笑吗：ASK MY FRIENDS :D
3. 你是很有信心的人吗：sometimes
4. 你想要怎样的生活：freedom
5. 你喜欢自己吗：sometimes ;P
6. 你喜欢音乐吗：YES?
7. 你喜欢体育吗：YES?
8. 你喜欢跳舞吗：YEEEEEESSS :D
9. 你很专情吗：-.-
10. 你喜欢睡觉吗：am a piggy :)
11. 你喜欢唱歌吗：ya laaaaaa.

幸福热气球：第6阶段~开始点名
排名不分先后！
1-10 : anyone la (lazy to dian ming eh)

如果你有3个愿望，Tell me your wish：
1. Valentines day with him (:
2. at least 5As for pmr
3. ANG PAU ANG PAU ANG PAUUUUU lai lai lai ;P

to sarah: keempaaaat

2010-02-09T09:21:00.000+08:00

of course will diam diam la X) hahaha she dont dare de believe me X) if want also she'll scold us in her heart la. hahaha. of course la, he an shuang only bah XD HAHAHAHA YES YES I AGREEE! she jia jia only de. dont trust her trust me, aiseeehhhh XD

t-shung t-sin

2010-02-07T15:22:00.000+08:00

My parents were sitting on the sofa watching, guess what they watched? "NARUTO" hahahaha yeap naruto, and my daddy said "this cartoon is nice eh. everyday got one ka? :P" eeeehhhh how cute XD aww i love my cute parents :D

well my dad pronounced "tshung tsin" as "t-shung t-sin" hahahaha. cute! so yeah, went to "t-shung t-sin" today with xiao rick. first time to get my butt to sit in his car ;D its kinda weird, we didnt really talk to each other, and of course its weird duh, haha. met up with oscar, apple, jamie, jeson, timothy, rence, and cyruuuuus! but yish, i didnt get to talk to cyrus :( but at least we did a lil eye contact yish yish.

went to fetch xiao wei at her house. rick's car getting hotter and noisier because aiting and aann joined us, but its fun la, never thought they're so friendly XD went to padang merdeka to watch lion dance after. saw michelleeeee yeeeee darling wushu-ing. hahaha one word, G E N G! :D lion dances are fine.

have not been to youth for a while and i just went for the first time in 2010, i guess :S jess and i were doing dance performance, and i was nervous D; samku said its very obvious that im nervous, ahhhhh. but then, i remembered all the moves (well almost la) within two days? *hi five to myself* teeheeheeheeheehee. i dunno why i was fully paying attention on rev.Aster Soong's sermon ;P thats the way ahaaha i like it ahaaha.

aiting was blockeeeed D; sorry
aann & aiting was blocked! again! D;
the us :)

to sarah; ketigaaaa

2010-02-07T10:06:00.000+08:00

WANT WANT WANT WANT! ;D
aikz ya lo. cant tahan his style anymore. he thinks he's fit D; his school pants also very very very the tight eh. can see the ass shape edi hahahaha.

hahahahaha the movie is 18 and above ;P WE'RE UNDERAGE! hahahaha. huh? ya mea? how you know one? did you ask christy about it?

disgust

2010-02-06T08:19:00.000+08:00

first, i am very very very happy that you converted into christian :) really.
when i saw your info paper, i was shocked that you wrote "CHRISTIAN" in the religion box there :O i thought your parents want you to continue to be a budhist. i thought your parents didnt know about it. so i asked and you said this in chinese "my dad was looking at me writing that and he didnt say anything arr!" AHHH THANK GOD! :D :D :D :D i never realize that a budhist friend of mine that i brought to church is now a christiaaan! :)

but, im very very very very sad that you ignore me this year :( everyday, you'll give me the i-hate-you look or why-are-you-here look :( whats the problem? you think that i'll steal your boyfriend away? hello, im not gonna steal yours since i got mine edi. sigh. you know what? i trusted you and i told you i like who and stuff, i thought you're different, i thought you wont tell anyone about it. but seems like im wrong :( you steal him away but you never said sorry? i didnt say anything and i wished you congrats in facebook but you never appreciate it? i never try to steal him back or fight with you bout it. but your eyes are telling me that its my fault. and what the? please. i love you as my sister :( but you dont?

PS: if ur reading this, you know that im talking about you so please, at least change the way how you look at me.

to sarah lagi ;p

2010-02-06T07:41:00.000+08:00

ya la, sigh why so dumb dumb go let that "ham lao" chou oh. -.- hahaha kasian you two ;P but that sandra and how jia lyn they all siok lo, can watch free movie XD i think teacher olivia konws one la, she didnt say it out only ma, like madam yee :O hmm dunno him, haiz i want slap him oh :(

reply sarah's ;D

2010-02-05T06:29:00.000+08:00

uhm yeah lo. its her outer look only ma X) haiz gabin broke her heart poor her :(

chern ting said they break liau, but i dont think they broke up lo. i think they're still together eh. they dont wanna let anyone know so any one of us would go tell teacher about it. hmm... ya lo, almost a year edi, her "water" gabin finish chou edi, so sayang oh.

yeah yeah i know. IT IS a good decision lea :D hahaha i still cant believe i saw them ehem in the class D; ewwwww.

and you know what? that gabin told chaw wei sen that im the one who told teacher they ehem in the class wa. WHAT THE LOVEEE? D; i never did that la haiz. stupid him always blame me haiz.

chuuukuuulateeee

2010-02-04T07:23:00.000+08:00

INTERACT CLUB IS SELLING CHOCOLATES FOR VALENTINES DAY!

of course i'll get one for him :) but what about my friends who help me all the time. sigh. im not gonna buy for everyone, its too expensive la :( should buy for who?

PS: frustrated =/